Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself

As I stated earlier, the main purpose of meditating is to remove your attention from the environment, your body, and the passage of time so that what you intend, what you think, becomes your focus instead of these externals. You can then change your internal state independent of the outside world. Meditating is also a means for you to move beyond your analytical mind so that you can access your subconscious mind. That’s crucial, since the subconscious is where all your bad habits and behaviors that you want to change reside.

All the information you have received up to this point has been intended to help you understand what you will be doing in this section, as you learn how to use the meditative process to create a new reality. And once you comprehend and repeatedly execute the “how-to” steps presented here, you can then work on anything that you want to change in your life. Remind yourself often that in taking the steps to change, you are pruning away the habit of being yourself so that you can create a new mind for your new future. When I do the process you are about to learn, I want to lose myself in consciousness, dissociate from my known reality, and be devoid of the thoughts and feelings that define me as the old self.

In the beginning, the newness of the task you are undertaking might cause you to feel unsettled or uncomfortable. That’s okay. It’s just your body, which has become your mind, resisting the new training process. Understand this before you initiate your discipline, and relax—each step is designed to be easy to understand and simple to follow. Personally, I look forward to my meditation practice as much as anything I do. I find such order, peace, clarity, and inspiration that I rarely miss a day. It took some time for me to arrive at this relationship, so please be patient with yourself.

Whenever you’ve learned anything new that required your full attention and committed practice, you probably followed specific steps during your initial instruction. This makes it easier to break down the complexities of the skill or task at hand so that the mind can stay focused without being overwhelmed. In any endeavor, of course, your goal is to memorize what you’re learning so that eventually you can do it naturally, effortlessly, and subconsciously. Essentially, you want to make this new skill a habit.

It’s easier to comprehend and execute any new skill when by repetition, you master one small task or procedure at a time and then move on to the next. Over time you string each step together as part of one coordinated process. The sign that you’re on your way is when all the steps start to look like one easy, fluid motion and you produce the intended result. That’s your aim in learning this meditation as a step-by-step process.

For example, in learning to hit a golf ball, there are a host of cues that your mind has to process in order to have your actions match your intention. Imagine that while you’re preparing to tee off for the first time, your best friend shouts, “Keep your head down! Bend your knees! Shoulders square and back erect! Keep your front arm straight, but loosen your grip! Shift your weight when you swing! Hit behind the ball, and follow through!” And my favorite: “Relax!”

All these instructions at once could throw you into a state of paralysis. What if, instead, you worked on one thing at a time, following a methodical order? In time, it seems logical that your swing would look like one motion.

Similarly, if you were learning to cook a French recipe, you would start by following its individual steps. Do that enough times, and there would come a moment when you no longer would prepare the recipe as separate steps, but as one continuous process. You would integrate the instructions into your body-mind, merge many steps into just a few, and eventually, cook the meal in half the time. You’d go from thinking to doing—your body memorizes what you were doing, as well as your mind. That’s what a procedural memory is. This phenomenon occurs when you do anything long enough. You begin to know that you know how.

Remember that the more knowledge you have, the better prepared you are for a new experience. Every meditation step you practice will have a meaning to you based on what you learned earlier in this book; each one is based on a scientific or philosophical understanding so that nothing is left to conjecture. The steps are presented in a specific order designed to help you memorize this process for personal change.

Although I have mapped out a suggested four-week program for you to learn the entire process, please take as much time as you need to practice each step until it becomes familiar. The best pace to set is one that is comfortable, so you never feel overwhelmed.

You will begin every session by doing the previous steps you learned, then practice the new material for that week. Because it’s more effective to learn some steps together, some weeks will call for you to practice two or more new steps. Also, I recommend that you practice each new mindful step, or group of steps, for at least a week before you move on to the next ones. In a few weeks, you’ll build quite a neural network for meditation!

Please take your time and build a strong foundation. If you are already an experienced meditator and want to do more at once, that’s fine, but work at following all the instructions and committing what you will be doing to memory.

When you can concentrate on what you’re doing without letting your thoughts wander to any extraneous stimuli, you will come to a point when your body actually aligns with your mind. Now your new skill will become easier and easier to do, thanks to Hebb’s law of firing and wiring. The ingredients of learning, attention, instruction, and practice will develop an associated neural network to reflect your intentions.

The write stuff. Separately from your meditation sessions, you will read some descriptive text about each step, often accompanied by questions and prompts under the heading “Opportunity to Write.” I recommend that you keep a notebook handy to write down your answers. Then review your responses before you go into each day’s meditation. That way, your written thoughts can serve as a road map to prepare you to navigate through the meditative procedures in which you will access the operating system of your subconscious.

Listen up. When you are first learning the meditation steps, you may want to listen to prerecorded guided sessions. For example, you will learn an induction technique that you will use in every one of your daily sessions, to help you reach the highly coherent Alpha brain-wave state in preparation for the approach that is the focus of Chapters 11 to 13. In addition, the steps you are to learn each week are available for you to follow in a series of guided meditations.

Two Approaches to the Meditation

Meditation Option 1: Wherever you see this headphone icon …

… a guided induction or meditation is available. To listen to these guided sessions, you can download them from www.drjoedispenza.com and either play them in MP3 format or burn them onto a CD.

After you read each chapter, then journal your responses in a notebook, you can download the corresponding meditation. Each week, as you add the next step or steps to those you practiced the previous week, you can find the next related meditation available for download. They will be listed as the “Week One meditation,” “Week Two meditation,” “Week Three meditation,” and “Week Four meditation”—Week Four will include the entire meditation.

For example, when you hear the Week Two meditation, it will lead you through the Week One step—which is an induction technique—then will add the three steps you will practice for Week Two. When you do the Week Three meditation, you will repeat the steps you learned in Weeks One and Two, then add the steps for Week Three.

Meditation Option 2: Alternatively, scripts for these guided sessions are included in the Appendices so that you can read them until you memorize the sequence, or dictate them into a recording device.

Appendices A and B provide two techniques for the induction. Appendix C is the script for the entire meditation, encompassing all of the steps you will learn in Part III. If you decide to use the Appendix C script to guide your meditation, then each week, please start with the steps you learned in previous weeks, then build on them by doing that week’s meditation.

Location, location, location. You have learned that overcoming your environment is a critical step in breaking the habit of being yourself. Finding the right environment in which to meditate, one with a minimum of distractions, will really give you a leg up on defeating the first of the Big Three (we’ll cover the other two, the body and time, in a moment). Pick a comfortable place where you can be alone and not be seduced by the addiction of the external world. Make it secluded, private, and easily accessible. Go to this place every day, and make it your special location. You will form a strong connection with this setting. It will represent where you frequent to tame the distracted ego, overcome the old self, create a new self, and forge a new destiny. In time you will truly look forward to being there.

A participant in one event I led told me that she always fell asleep when she meditated. Our conversation went like this:

“What does the law of repetition demonstrate about sleeping in your bed every night?”

“If I sleep in the same place nightly, I am hardwiring an association of bed with sleep.”

“Given the fact that neural networks are formed by combining the law of association with the law of repetition, might you have formed a neural network to the effect that bed means sleep? And since neural networks are automatic programs that we unconsciously use every day, does it stand to reason that when you are on your bed, your body (as the mind) will tell you to automatically and unconsciously fall into oblivion?”

Not only did I suggest that she stay out of bed when she meditates, but that she find a different place separate from her bedroom. When you want to build a new neural network, it makes good sense to do your mindfulness practices in a setting that represents growth, regeneration, and a new future.

And please, do not see this location as a torture chamber in which you have to meditate. This type of attitude will undermine your efforts.

Preventing distractions from your environment. Make sure you won’t be interrupted or distracted by people (a DO NOT DISTURB sign can help) or pets. As much as possible, eliminate sensory stimuli that could force your mind back to your old personality or to awareness of the external world, especially to elements of your familiar environment. Turn off your phone and computer; I know it’s hard, but those calls, texts, tweets, IMs, and e-mails can wait. You also don’t want the aroma of coffee brewing or food cooking to waft into your meditation setting. Ensure that the room is a comfortable temperature, with no drafts. I usually use a blindfold.

Music. Music can be useful as long as you don’t play selections that will bring to mind distracting associations. If I play music, I typically use soft, relaxing, trance-inducing instrumentals or chants without lyrics. When not listening to music, I often put in earplugs.

Position, position, position. I sit up very straight. My back is totally vertical, my neck is erect, my arms and legs are resting poised and still, and my body is relaxed. What about using a recliner? Just as with sitting in bed, many people fall asleep in recliners. Sitting upright in a regular chair, limbs uncrossed, is best. If you prefer to sit on the ground and cross your legs “Indian-style,” that’s fine, too.

Preventing bodily distractions. In effect, you want to “put the body away” so that you can focus without needing to pay it any attention. For example, use the restroom. Dress in loose clothes, remove your watch, drink a little water, and have more within reach. Take care of any hunger pangs before you begin.

Head nodding vs. nodding off. Since we’re talking about the body, let me address an issue that may come up in your own meditation practice. Although you are sitting upright, you may find your head nodding as though you are about to fall asleep. This is a good sign: you are moving into the Alpha and Theta brain-wave states. Your body is used to lying down when your brain waves slow down. When you suddenly “nod” like this, your body wants to doze off. With continued practice, you’ll become accustomed to your brain slowing down while you sit upright. The head nodding will eventually stop, and your body won’t tend to fall asleep.

When to meditate. As you know, daily changes in brain chemistry result in easier access to the subconscious mind just after you wake up in the morning and before you go to bed at night. These are the best times to meditate because you can more readily slip into the Alpha or Theta states. I prefer to meditate around the same time every morning. If you are really enthusiastic and would like to meditate at both these times of day, go for it. However, I suggest that folks just starting out do so once daily.

How long to meditate. Take a few minutes before each day’s meditation session to review any writing you have done in connection with the steps you are about to practice—as I said, think of these notes as your road map to the journey you are about to take. You may also find it helpful to reread portions of the text—to remind you of what you’re about to do—before you go into meditation.

While you’re learning the process, every session will start with 10 to 20 minutes for induction. As you add steps, your time frame should lengthen by about 10 to 15 minutes per step. Over time, you will move more rapidly through the steps with which you are already familiar. By the time you learn how to do all those in this process, your daily meditation (including induction) will generally take 40 to 50 minutes.

If you need to finish by a certain time, set a timer to go off ten minutes before you must end your session. That will give you a “heads-up” to complete the session, rather than having to stop abruptly without bringing what you were doing to a close. And set aside enough time to meditate so that the clock doesn’t become a concern. After all, if you are meditating and find yourself thinking about your watch, you haven’t overcome time. Essentially, you may have to wake up earlier or go to bed later in order to carve out a slot in your day.

Mastering the ego. To be honest, I do have those days where I battle my ego tooth and nail, since it wants to be in control. Some mornings as I begin the process, my analytical mind starts thinking about flights to catch, meetings with staff, injured patients, reports and articles I need to write, my kids and their complexities, phone calls I have to make, and random thoughts from nowhere that pop into my head. I’m obsessing about everything predictable in my external life. Typically, my mind, like most people’s, is either anticipating the future or remembering the past. When that occurs, I have to settle down and realize that those are all known associations that have nothing to do with creating something new in the present moment. If this happens to you, it is your job to go beyond the tedium of normal thinking and enter into the creative moment.

Mastering the body. If your body bucks like an unbridled stallion because it wants to be the mind—to get up and do something, think about someplace it has to go in the future, or remember a past emotional experience with some person in your life—you must settle it down into the present moment and relax it. Every time you do, you are reconditioning your body to a new mind, and in time, it will acquiesce. It was conditioned by an unconscious mind, and it has to be retrained by you—so love it, work with it, and be kind to it. It will ultimately surrender to you as its master. Remember to be determined, persistent, excited, joyful, flexible, and inspired. When you do so, you are reaching for the hand of the divine.

Week One (Chapter 10):	Every day, do STEP 1: Induction.
Week Two (Chapter 11):	Start every daily session by once again practicing the first step; then add STEP 2: Recognizing, STEP 3: Admitting and Declaring, and STEP 4: Surrendering.
Week Three (Chapter 12):	Start every daily session by practicing STEPS 1 through 4, then add STEP 5: Observing and Reminding and STEP 6: Redirecting.
Week Four (Chapter 13):	Start every daily session by practicing STEPS 1 through 6, then add STEP 7: Creating and Rehearsing.

CHAPTER NINE